This is Jaxson’s first birthday after losing his Dad. Almost a year ago we were standing bedside by his dad as we all sang happy birthday to Jaxson who turned into a teenager with many more life lessons than you ever want your brand new teenager to have to learn so early. All of us cried. Except his dad. His dad with strength he was just learning himself gave his boy the look he always gave him at football and baseball games… When Jax felt like he was in trouble and looked to his dad for advice or encouragement.. Ben put two fingers towards his own eyes then pointed them out toward Jax. To say “stay focused, I’m watching you.” Ben was the continuous breadwinner for things like Birthdays and sports. We could always count on him to make everything okay. This year has been by far the most challenging year of our lives and there are so many different things to go into that. Mainly though, we are without Ben. Jaxson was caught in a world of confusion and fear from October to June. The diagnosis in October was rapidly followed by a cruel and intense cancer battle that eventually brought me to have a conversation with Jax about his dad’s chances of survival. He didn’t want to believe it. He was in denial. I can’t blame him. He is going to struggle for the rest of his life with “should’ve” “would’ve” and “could’ve.” With Jax becoming a man and feeling lost on what that means or how to do so, I would like to attempt to make his birthday something that allows him to forget for a little while. His dad and him always visited Florida. He dreams of going back there and even moving there one day like his dad wanted to. I think he feels close to him there. I am asking for donations to help us afford that family vacation where we can all go together and cry on the beach. Where he can sit alone and ponder life in a moment that sticks with him for the rest of his life. A true soul level up from the man he’s had to be here with this misery. I need him to be able to move on. I need him to understand grief better. I need him to have a “closure” type feeling or something at least close. I know complete closure is impossible with something like this.
I appreciate each and every donation that will absolutely go directly toward making Jaxson’s birthday unforgettable. I want this to be something even his dad looks down and is proud to surround us all with love during this difficult day. It was the day after Father’s Day that Ben passed away. He deserves this redemption as well. I can’t thank you enough from the bottom of my heart for even a simple prayer said to any donations toward our goal. My ideal way of going about this is to surprise him with tickets and a trip to plan for. Thank you. Jaxson’s Mom