The last year and a half of my life has been the hardest I’ve ever known. On November 17th, 2024, I unexpectedly lost my soulmate—my person, the love of my life. The kind of love you don’t just move on from. The kind that changes you forever. It happened so quick, in an instant. I tried so hard to keep him here with me, but it was out of my hands. And when he was gone, everything else in my world seemed to unravel right along with him. Since then, it hasn’t just been grief. It’s been survival. Every day has felt like trying to stand up while the ground keeps shifting underneath me. I’ve gone from having a life, a home, and a sense of stability… to staying in a run-down hotel that I cannot afford, constantly trying to figure out how I’m going to make it through the next day. There’s no cushion. No breathing room. Just constant pressure and uncertainty. I’ve been doing everything I can to change that. I’ve applied to job after job, rewritten my resume more times than I can count, and kept showing up even when it feels like nothing is working. It’s exhausting to keep pushing forward when it feels like every door stays closed—but I haven’t stopped trying. Because somehow, even after everything, I’m still here. And as broken as I’ve felt at times, something inside me hasn’t let go completely. There have been small moments, quiet ones, that remind me I might still have a purpose. That maybe this isn’t the end of my story. I’m moving slowly, but I am moving in the right direction. I’m rebuilding piece by piece, even if it doesn’t look like much yet. I don’t expect anyone to fix this for me. I’m just asking for a little help to get through this part—to take the next step forward, to create some stability, and to keep going. I’ve been trying so hard for so long and the bottom line is, I just need a hand to get back above water. Because I’m not done. And I’m still fighting for a future that feels worth living again. I know it’s over there on the horizon and I can almost see it. Some things are just too much for one person to carry alone.
I’m not really wanting visitors of any kind, please know that I wholeheartedly appreciate anything that anyone can do to help, I’m just not fully out of my hermit phase yet. At least not socially. If we’re talking about something for employment, that’s different. I want to also include this link to a fundraiser that I created in January of 2025 that got exactly zero donations. I didn’t share it like I probably should have, but I was already discouraged and felt completely alone. Not to mention my embarrassment. I don’t like this kind of thing, I feel like I’m begging and I feel like a burden. This fundraiser really goes into detail about the absolute purgatory that I survived for those first seven or so months. I put my heart into it. If anyone is interested, here it is. https://v2.givesendgo.com/ineffableanguish