Pregnancy Loss
This Is What To Say After Miscarriage or Baby Loss

Finally. A genius line of cards by Dr. Jessica Zucker for women who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss.

One of the most difficult things for those who wish to support couples coping with miscarriage or infant loss is knowing how to begin a dialogue.

I understand the reasons for the hesitation.

Feeling Your Isolation

People worry that they will say the wrong thing. They worry they will cause further sadness to people who are already in pain.

They worry that they won’t get it right.

In fact, there is no “right" thing to say. Many people who are coping with pregnancy/infant loss feel isolated in their grief. They very often do want acknowledgment and support.

I imagine you feel like shit right now, but I just had to remind you how wonderful I think you are.

Those who do want to offer it are uncertain about how to broach the topic. (People ask me quite a bit about whether it is okay that they raised the topic of someone’s miscarriage at a playground). They remain uncertain – I can tell – when I answer in the affirmative. And so a vicious circle emerges.

Fortunately, Dr. Jessica Zucker is a doctor on a mission. An expert on reproductive maternal mental health, she has observed that many in society lack a vocabulary when they try to reach out in times of perinatal loss.

With heavy hearts/we lovingly honor/the memory of our child/who was with us too briefly

In an effort to continue to promote dialogue about loss, Dr. Zucker last year launched a line of cards.  These cards – some irreverent, some profound – span the universe of the loss experience. There is a miscarriage card, stillbirth announcements, cards for occasions like Mother’s Day.

As the the founder of the #IHadAMiscarriage campaign, Zucker has been open about the miscarriage she herself suffered.

Says Dr. Zucker:

“We live in a society that does not view loss as a normative part of pregnancy. Recent research shows that a majority of women experience shame. There are not enough tools available to help women feel validated and seen."

As a society, while we may be talking increasingly about loss, we still lack tools necessary to respond effectively.

#Fuck Loss

Dr. Zucker’s empathy cards are designed to bridge this gap.

For more, go to shop Jessica Zucker.

Photos and images courtesy of Jessica Zucker. Used with Permission.

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