Story
I was Just Diagnosed with Breast Cancer in March. Went through the Start of the Treatment and the 5 Hour Surgery. Was about to start Radiation when a CT Scan done discovered more Cancer. Back Story…. I am a Deep Empathetic due taking care of my Single Severely Disabled Mom pretty much my Entire life. There was No Family to Help. I did grown up Things from age 6 yrs. So it was complete role reversal with myself having to parent my mom. Her entire life, she Went HOME/HEAVEN two years ago. MY GORGEOUS OLDER DAUGHTER THAT IS IN THE PICTURE I’M HOLDING WAS KILLED AND WENT HOME/HEAVEN 8 YEARS AGO. IT NEVER GETS EASIER. Her Dad was an Alcoholic Abuser. I fought a good fight to Save him from his Demons for 18 years. We have 4 children, my sweet girl and her 3 brothers. I lost that Battle he got so bad he ended up having a psychotic break with reality and I ended up Broken and Homeless not him. There are a lot of Cops down South that are Woman Haters. I called for Help they Arrested me instead, I was Tormented, Tortured, Traumatized and Tasered. I finally got my Disability and with the Retro check. I escaped him and moved back to my Home State of R.I. I feel in Love with an old Crush I knew growing up. What I did not know because of his Childhood abuse he developed a severe brain Disorder, NPD Narcissistic Personality Abuse Disorder. Unknowingly to me this Deep Empathetic fell deeply in Love only to be Abused WORSE, WAY WORSE. NPD is one of the top 3 most violent Brain Disorders. But of Course he had his good side, his great side, his Loving or should I say Love Bombing side. Found out too late I was already pregnant with our daughter. Found out Why his Ex wife Hated him so much she had to cut all ties. He barely got visitation to their 3 children. Now my step-children. He abused me so Deeply and so Hard it cut me to my Core. After once again fighting to help him bit finding out NPD has no Treatment they live in a delusional world made up in their Brain that is only SELF SERVING. He also had Uncontrollable Rage, I do what all Empathetic's do tried to save him from Himself which is impossible since his Brain is actually deformed. Please if interested in what NPD is search up Narcissistic Personality. All the Steps they Cycle Through are exactly what he does Step by Step in exact Order it’s Scary. Anyway, he cried so Hard when I was Diagnosed. He had a girlfriend of 2 years who died of Cancer 17 years ago and his Best Friend also someone I knew since second grade also just died of Cancer at 50 yrs old. So he was Determined to Help me Through it all. Made all the Promises, he never keeps. Swore he would try his HARDEST TO STOP THE ABUSE. Couldn’t do it. Since your Brain is more Powerful than you. He destroyed my Birthday, this year after getting liquid radiation treatment. That was the night of my Surgery I cried my soul out and he Abandoned me as usual. I didn’t sleep at all couldn’t even do the Pre-Op instructions right for less risk of infection. I was already High Risk Surgery and he is Screaming at me to get someone Else to F-ing Take me. He ended up taking me of course, with no sleep and he cried so Hard by the Faith of God I made it through Surgery and woke up crying that my Daughter who passed said, I wasn’t aloud to remember visiting HEAVEN while under because I was refusing to leave. So I was Crying it wasn’t Fair they said, They had to make me Forget and I wanted to Remember. IT’S NOT FAIR!! My husband was told I was very upset about my daughter upon waking but I was in Recovery. He was so Happy. About one week later he started his usual NPD ABUSE the Mean Comments, Cutting me off before I finish one sentence and assuming the worst then Raging before even knowing thats not what I was Saying at all. It was actually something Good that he Turned Bad as usual. The cycle just started all over again the Lies, Denial of any wrong doing the Promises he NEVER KEEPS. So when I got ordered a CT and they found more Masses on both sides of my Pelvis, a lesion on my Spleen, a swollen lymph node under my left clavicle and a small lump in the middle of my chest where I always got a lot of Sharp Pains so that was not a surprise the rest was and Devastating. Once again a day of crying then 20 minutes after getting HOME he is shooting these horrible Comments of Cruelty at me right and left. This went on for 10 Days Straight. I try Not to Fight Back but it’s impossible be pushes you and pushes you until you Explode like a Pressure Cooker!! That night it got Physical so myself, my two Adult children living with us and our now 12 year old daughter. Had to THROW HIM OUT PERMANENTLY!!! IT HURTS SO MUCH BECAUSE I STILL LOVE HIM AND MY EXCUSE WAS ITS A BRAIN DISORDER HE DID NOT ASK FOR BUT HE CAN NOT CONTROL ANE MOST OF THE TIME DOESNT EVEN TRY. A LOT OF IT IS HIM!! SO THATS IT MY LONG COMPLEX PTSD, OTHER MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AND SEVERE SLEEP DISORDERS WITH NIGHT TERRORS AND EVERYTHING STORY OF MY LIFE. NOW IM FACING MORE CANCER WITH CHEMO, MORE BIOPSIES, PET SCAN, CHEMO NOW NOT JUST RADIATION. THAT WILL COME AFTER IF I SURVIVE BY THE GRACE OF GOD ALL WHILE GOING THROUGH A SEPARATION, TINY SUPPORT SYSTEM OF JUST MY KIDS. ONE WITH A DISABILITY OF HIS OWN. ALL SUFFERING FROM GRIEF DEPRESSION LIKE MYSELF FROM THE LOSS OF THEIR BIG SISTER AND THEIR DAD BARELY SEES THEM. THEY ARE AMAZING WITH THEIR BABY SISTER. MY 12 YEAR OLD WITH THEIR STEPDAD THEY LOVE HER SO SO MUCH AND HELP ME TAKE CARE OF HER SO GOOD BUT THATS IT. THATS WHERE MY SUPPORT UNIT TO HOPEFULLY SURVIVE THIS ENDS.
Special Notes
I’M BEGGING FOR ANY AND ALL SUPPORT NO MATTER HOW SMALL HE WAS THE MAIN INCOME AND IF WE LOSE THIS HOUSE THERE WILL BE NO REASON TO LIVE. I HAVE TO SURVIVE THIS FOR MY CHILDREN PLEASE EVEN CARDS OF SUPPORT, SHOW OF ANY KIND OF LOVE AND HEY YOUR NOT ALONE WOULD BE APPRECIATED BUT WE NEED $20,000 TO BUY OUT HIS HALF OF THE HOUSE I HAVE EXHAUSTED ALL GOVERNMENT SUPPORT BECAUSE THERE IS NONE. I TRIED APPLYING FOR CANCER GRANTS MOST ARE CLOSED OR POSTPONED DUE TO OVERLOAD OF APPLICATIONS THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE I HAVE FOUND AND WITH NO EXTENDED FAMILY OR FRIENDS. WE HAVE NO ONE OR NO WHERE TO TURN TO. PLEASE I KNOW IM JUST ANOTHER SAD STORY BUT PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING IT ALL ADDS UP. PLEASE ALSO NO ONE EVER WANTS TO BE THE FIRST. PLEASE BE THE FIRST AND WHEN IM DONE WITH THE BOOK I AM WRITING, SISTERS ACROSS THE UNIVERSE ABOUT THE CONNECTION MY BABY DAUGHTER STILL HAD WITH HER BIG SISSY AFTER SHE DIED ITS AMAZING GLORY THE THINGS WE HAVE WITNESSED. A FREE COPY AND TO ANYONE DONATING OVER $50 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ANYTHING THAT CAN BE GIVEN. LOTS OF LOVE AND PRAYERS