For women and men who have experienced baby loss (miscarriage, neonatal death), the holidays may be an intensely melancholy experience. Many friends wonder, should I reach out? The answer is yes – gently. The kindness and courage implicit in this act is deeply healing. And powerful. Here are some things you can do to help.
What To Express When Giving This Gift:
I understand that your loss impacted you deeply. In deciding what to offer you, I confess that I was not totally sure where to start. There is a part of me that worries that in remembering your baby, I am causing you pain. But much of what I have read suggests that this is unlikely – you have not forgotten. I know. I guess I just want to let you know that I have not either. I may not always say or do exactly the right thing – but I am trying. I mourn with you the life you wanted. And I just want to let you know I think you are just great. I am here if I can help, or if you want to talk. Sending lots of love.
“This is the happiest story in the world with the saddest ending,” writes Elizabeth McCracken in her powerful, inspiring memoir. A prize-winning, successful novelist in her 30s, McCracken was happy to be an itinerant writer and self-proclaimed spinster. But suddenly she fell in love, got married, and two years ago was living in a remote part of France, working on her novel, and waiting for the birth of her first child.
This book is about what happened next. In her ninth month of pregnancy, she learned that her baby boy had died. How do you deal with and recover from this kind of loss? Of course you don’t–but you go on. And if you have ever experienced loss or love someone who has, the company of this remarkable book will help you go on.
With humor and warmth and unfailing generosity, McCracken considers the nature of love and grief. She opens her heart and leaves all of ours the richer for it.
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because it so beautifully lays out loss and longing.
What to Express in Your Card: I am thinking of you without cease. I will call you and I will keep calling until you feel like talking.
Trigger warning: This book ends with the birth of a healthy newborn. Make sure to consider the readiness of your recipient to consider this possibility.
Whether it’s a beautiful birthstone necklace, a ring created from a loved one’s fingerprint, handwriting or ashes, or another piece of jewelry, you’re sure to find the perfect piece to send on Etsy. Browse their selection of Memorial Jewelry now.
Etsy provides a meaningful space for sellers to turn their creative passions into opportunity. We enable buyers to discover unique items made with care. And we treat our employees and our community with respect. We’re here because the world needs less of the same and more of the special.
Why We Love These Gifts: Memorial jewelry is completely singular. Those who are called to make it are likely to understand the importance of each piece as it is likely they were inspired to create because of a loss they experienced. (This is not always the case, but certainly often). Memorial jewelry is a way to keep someone close. Pieces can represent using all kinds of materials from ashes, to photos to other kinds of renderings. But the recipient is reminded that her or his loss is understand by the giver. And that is truly a gift in itself.
What To Express in Your Card: I am heartbroken for you. I wanted to honor your grief. I am thinking of you and I am holding you close.
Customizable based upon the needs and situations of your recipients boxes can contain inspirational reminders of love and support, candles, journals, self-care items and much more. This unique collection of sympathy gifts nourishes a mother’s heart after the unfathomable pain of child loss.
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because it is extremely hard to talk about child loss. Bereaved parents report being avoided in grocery stores and know that their anguish can make people uncomfortable. Gifts that open doors to discussion and understanding enable human connection and love. So that’s why we love it. No one can right the wrong of child loss – but support matters so much in the long walk towards complex peace. Walk with her.
What To Express in Your Card: I cannot imagine the pain you feel. But I do want not to lose you. I do want to be your friend. I hope you will have me.
Why We Love This Gift: This line of teas was founded by a baby-bereaved mom who is also a military wife. This tea reflects the wisdom that grows out of grief and uncertainty. It’s also just delicious.
What To Express In Your Card: I’d love to share a cup of tea with you in person or even via Skype – I really want to know how you are doing and what I can do help, even if it’s simply listening. I’m sending you so much love.
Good at over 25,000 locations nationwide, recipients can use their Spafinder gift card for a massage or facial, yoga or pilates classes, acupuncture or chiropractic, or over 25 total services. Encourage your loved one to take a break for themselves with a wellness gift card they can use anytime. Available in any denomination between $25 – $500.
Why We Love This Gift: To be frank, self-care is often the first casualty of any crisis. However, those who face highly stressful situations are precisely those who should practice aggressive self-care. They won’t do it for themselves. You do it for them. Pamper them.
What to Express in Your Card: I hope you don’t mind my sending you this gift certificate. I know you are sad today. It is hard to know how best to help – but I really want to. I wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. Please take this hour to allow your body to receive love – to be nurtured.
In reading this memoir those who love a man coping with pregnancy loss and infant death will come to better understand the male experience with this kind of grief.
When Dan, a writer with a passion for underground comics, and his wife Bekah, a potter dedicated to traditional Japanese ceramics, met through a mutual friend, they swiftly fell in love. “Of all the women I’ve ever met,” Dan told a friend, “she’s the first one who felt like family.” But at Christmas, as they prepared for the birth of their first child, tragedy struck.
Based on Daniel Raeburn’s acclaimed New Yorker essay, Vessels: A Love Story is the story of how he and Bekah clashed and clung to each other through a series of unsuccessful pregnancies before finally, joyfully, becoming parents. In prose as handsomely unadorned as his wife’s pottery, Raeburn recounts a marriage cemented by the same events that nearly broke it.
Vessels is an unflinching, enormously moving account of intimacy, endurance, and love. These qualities make it a top pick of the editorial staff at Give InKind.
Why We Love This Gift: We love this gift because it perfectly describes the experience of grief men feel after baby loss. When people better understand the experience of fathers in loss, they will be better able to provide support. This is good for men. It is good for women. It is good for families.
What To Express in Your Card: I read that this book is a work of art. It may or may not resonate with you. I don’t know how you feel, but the point is I’d like to hear from you about just that. I am thinking of you. Maybe we can meet for coffee? I’ll text you later to see what your schedule looks like.
Possible Triggers: This book touches on a theme of loss, but also a baby born healthy after loss. For the parent who may not yet be ready to go there, or who is unable to attempt pregnancy again, consideration may be key.
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