Loss of a Child
See Me in The Wonder: A Mother Reflects on Children & Loss

Give InKind sat down with Laurel Fraher to talk about her children’s book See Me in The Wonder. The book is a gentle and loving reminder that those we have lost are always with us.

Fraher wrote See Me in The Wonder after the death of her daughter Julia in 2006. Her designer husband, Robert Fraher, worked to publish the book with her. Julia was diagnosed with cancer at the age of two and died one year later.

One year afterwards, Fraher gave birth to her daughter, Lily.

Following Lily’s birth, Fraher struggled with how to have her children know one another even though Julia had died before Lily was born. The question: How can we pass Julia’s life on to Lily? How can she know her sister?

Fraher explains:

“Sitting in the nursery with Lily (in the room that has been Julia’s) I was near the bookshelf. Children’s books have always been a huge part of my life. Suddenly, it came to me to write a book for children. I am an artist. It seemed like exactly the right thing to do."

Fraher drew inspiration from a poem which begins:

“Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep."

The poem looks to the memory of those we have loved and lost in a living and vibrant world.

Fraher writes:

There’s wonder waiting
In each moment.
Find it and you’ll see…

When you embrace
This precious life,
You’ll be embracing me.

See Me in The Wonder is for anyone, really. It is, however, inspired by a child who died and who did not have an opportunity to know her sibling(s). It is a moving tribute to a presence gone too soon – whose birth started a family and whose life and death informs their daily lives.

Fraher has two living children, aged 3 and 10.

See Me in The Wonder is a tribute to living and vibrant sibling love.

Said Fraher:

“I did not feel that Julia had gone somewhere else. I felt evidence of her everywhere. I wanted Lily to know Julia. To understand that Julia will always be a part of us, and a part of our world."

Give InKind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We have an affiliate relationship with many of the advertisers on our site, and may receive a commission from any products purchased from links in this article. See Terms & Conditions.

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