For expectant mothers experiencing high-risk pregnancies, hospital bed rest may sometimes become necessary. Almost everything will fall to the other parent – paying bills, mortgage, rent, childcare to name but a few.
If the expectant couple is heterosexual, it is very important for well-meaning close female friends to avoid the impulse to take over for one another in childcare crises. Men may find this impulse kind, but also frustrating. It is appropriate and respectful to confer with both parents because neither one of them is having an easy time. This post is written with the assumption that the mother in question has an older child or children at home. These suggestions reflect conversations our editorial staff has had with families in this uniquely stressful and logistically complicated situation.
Discounted Laundry services – Laundry + kids + no time. No more needs to be said. Plus, discount websites like Groupon allow for easy pick-up and drop off of folded and clean clothes, at an affordable price. Sadly, it won’t magically put itself away – but it’s better than the mountains of dirty clothes.
If the parents are heterosexual, men may sometimes have more trouble asking for help and support. Men in his circle should be encouraged to swing by with a cup of coffee of a six-pack of beer – just to say hello. Oftentimes, we have heard men speak of feeling powerless in pregnancy, labor, and delivery. These feelings may be magnified when his partner is separated from the family on hospital bed rest.
Whole Foods Gift Cards – Are similarly hugely helpful. At the risk of generalizing, it is often true that women tend to plan more meals and anticipate grocery needs more than a typical male partner. I am not denying that there are many exceptions, but the mental load tends to fall more to women and this may have a food/grocery element. So, while lots of men may be fabulous cooks, it may still remain statistically less likely that he signed up to bring napkins and plates to Valentine’s Day party in second grade (If he signed up for anything, it’s possible he stuck with the heavy lifting like that *untouched* veggie plate with hummus).
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